At first it was: "You should smile more." "You shouldn't be that smart." "You should talk to people nicely." "You should tidy up." "You shouldn't be too noisy."
Then it was: "You should be responsible." "You should grow up." "You shouldn't do that, what will the neighbours think?" "You shouldn't wear that." "You should try harder at school." "You should get a job." "You shouldn't go out with them." "You should fit in or you're not cool." "You should hate them because we do."
When you started your business or career it was more like: "You should do it by this formula, that's what works." "You should work harder." "You should be more appropriate." "You shouldn't say what you think." "You should be making more money than that." "You should get better at the things you suck at."
And then there are all the "I should's... " that we tell ourselves non-stop. "I should be nicer to my sister, even though she's a bitch." "I should exercise more and eat better." "I should be happier." "I should play to my strengths more." "I should speak up for myself." "I should be more confident." "I should give more." "I should get that degree to prove I'm not a fraud." "I should answer my emails faster..."
On and on it goes. The millions of 'shoulds' that are projected at us as if they are true. And the multi-millions of shoulds that we try to talk ourselves into, as if they will make us more acceptable or more valuable.
Here's where it gets interesting. Very few of the things we've been told we 'should' be and do are actually true for us. Most of them are outright lies designed to control us. Yet, we're taught to fall into line, to buy them as if they are real - so that we don't rock the boat. So we don't stand out. So we don't create the change that we came here to create. Is that enough for you?
Notice that there is no curiosity in 'should'. There is no question. There is no choice. Just a feeling that we should do everything on our non-stop to-do list. Is that living? Or is it surviving? Have you ever wanted to say "F*** Off!" to all of the people adding to your 'should' list? That's probably one of your best ideas so far!! And... there are other ways forward!
ARE YOU ASKING FOR CHANGE?
2016 was not a fun year for many people. It demanded of us that we look at the change that is required. It's no longer enough to stick your head in the sand and wait for the winds to blow over the latest catastrophe, covering it up in a blinding sandstorm. The time for change is now.
You know there is a better way to get ahead. You know that being on the edge of a breakdown is not nearly as joyful as being on the creative edge of non-stop breakthroughs. And you know that surviving is a poor substitute for thriving. What you don't know is how to move that needle. How to move from struggle to success, without going through more struggle. Here's what I know...
WHAT CAN YOU CHOOSE?
Every generation thinks they have 'the answers', until a new generation comes and outcreates them. What outcreates 'should'? The energy of joyful, conscious choice. The choice to play every day. The choice to be curious. The choice to invite pleasure rather than pain. The choice to be different, to follow the beat of your drum, whether the band plays with you or not. Here are a few ways to start:
1. Play Every Day.
Play opens the doors to choice. When you relax into play, daring to choose is just part of the game. You don't have to make your choices significant. You know you can choose again. Look at how many times kids change direction when they play. They are pleasure-seeking missiles until we train it out of them. What if you could become that again? Would your life become wildly more enjoyable?
2. Be Determined.
When there's something you truly desire, be single-minded about its creation. Ask for the creation to be filled with miraculous ease. For each choice you have and every 'should' that is expected of you, ask, "Will this create more than finishing xxxxx?" (ie your project or idea)? If not, keep going with your big dream. You'll know. The greatest choices are light and expansive.
Ignore all the 'should's'. Ignore what you think you 'have to' do and do what you CAN do that will bring you closer to finishing. Every tiny choice makes a difference!3. Follow Your Knowing.
Reacting from 'should' stops you from accessing what you are aware of. It stops you from knowing what is actually possible. If you follow those tiny little wisps of intuitive awareness, you'll know what to choose. And you won't have to create a big, fat logical story to make everyone around you happy. You'll know and you'll choose... and allow people to think whatever they want. You know their opinion is never as relevant as your awareness. How do you get clarity? Be curious. The awareness will come!
The free Creative Alchemy e-class is ALL about trusting your knowing in business and beyond.
Business Alchemy Lab is a monthly membership offering the practical skills for playing every day, following what you know and being determined to add your brilliance to the world. It's not like any other business creation adventure on the planet! Join us if you know there can be a different approach to business.
Get the energy of play by watching two adventurous kangaroos dance together...